Saturday, June 19, 2010

when i start to think,..

 Last i remember it was winter,harsh cold wind blows penetrate my skin to the very bones,making me feels like so old...wishing that it would end when the sun rises again in the morning,yet forgotten it the moment i lay myself in bed covered by the softness of the thick blanket...Now the warmth breeze fills the air,no it is rather hot incinerating blows that burn the skin,glaring sunlight blinding my eyes even with my shades on,now i wish it was still winter,oh how i wanted it so bad to be cold once again,..
am i being selfish to think and wish things were better the way i think it should be???wishing for the warmth in the winters and wanting to feel the cold while in summer???or should i just have some patience???wait for the season to change???for there is a time for everything,..

When i was in secondary school i ate every moment of my time at home thinking for a reason to get me out of my house,to spend some time with my friends,play some sports and have fun,i hate being at home, the boredom at home is really killing me,i even tried lying to my parents just to get me out of the house,..I've been bad to them,selfishly uttering words that i know not of their meaning,especially Mom,rather than giving her a helping hand in her daily chore i seek for a reason to slip out of it when ordered to do so,even at time being angry and saying harsh words to her when forced to do those chores, when I'm away from home it pains my heart so much that i'll even do all the chores for her willingly without being ordered if I'm able to be at home,..its just that now i really miss being home,i never thought that i could miss being home that i used to hate so much,..
for all this time,had i been good to them,had i did the things i should do?tho it seems that a lot of pieces is missing as if I'm not doing it right...will i still have time to think over and redo the mistake and do what i should???ask for their forgiveness is the least i should do,..

walking on the alley i saw a guy in a nice dress coat,neatly tied necktie unlocking his blue BMW, i thought to myself " how many times did he pray to God in a day for those wealth?". well i guess at least he would be praying to God 5 times a day for that is our daily prayer,but how come he could get the wealth while i didn't???i work hard to get rich, i pray for wealthiness after every daily prayers but why didn't i get??? am not trying to be greedy but,ah well its not like my prayers were heard anyways,..why do i always get the feeling that i never get what i wanted,seems like my hard work didn't pay off,or am i asking too much from God???and not being content with what God already given me???wanting more and more,never satisfied nor being content with,..

i know that i haven't been a good child to my parents,ungrateful and always uttering dissatisfaction on most of the things they've done for me,nor had i been a proper servant to ALLAH,for always asking more and more of the things i see others own,displease with what i own,getting angry and hating others for no reason other than they had what i wanted,..

Being patience with what we have to face,the harsh world we live in,Being grateful,being content with is what comes after patience,..never could we live without patience and never would we be satisfied with being content...


Friday, May 28, 2010


awaken by the coldness of the breeze
only to find myself within darkness
that i know nothing of it
nor do i feel comfort in it
cant relax to think nor can i react
seems that with eyes wide open
felt like its so tightly shut
blindness living without a light
loneliness only loneliness fill my heart
confusion dreads of consternation infesting
paralyzing, numbing never endlessly
I’m losing my mind
losing the hold of myself
even now losing conscious
of what is going on around me
it is fading inside of me
the will the believe the hope
to live on…
all is fading

- Zarkashy-

hopes and dreams

some said that this poem was imam syafiee's,but i couldn't find any source that this is his poem,but still a beautiful poem...also some said that this poem belongs to Abu al-‘Ataahiyah a poet in the ruling of Amir ul-Mu’mineen Harun ar-rashid...

ترجو النجاة ولم تسلك مسالكها # إن السفينة لا تجري على اليبس

more or less it means : you hope for success/salvation yet haven't taken its path # indeed a ship does not sail on dry land"

oh i wonder how many times had i heard this poem but still it is as my 1st time hearing it...the beauty it holds, reminds me that we need to work hard toward our goal to achieve it...
how can we hope to succeed in something that we put no effort to it, never can we get what we want by being idle and doing nothing.
Be brave and strong to have a Dream yet be braver and stronger to walk down its path...For the path to our dream is effort...may it be more than just words in our daily life.

Friday, May 21, 2010


everyday when we wake up,we are bless with health,but we would frown on a few little sickness that occur once in a while,didn't we realize that it is a good thing to happen?although it is sometimes burdening, sometimes annoying,...yet did we not see that it is a little break from our routine that otherwise would make our life boring,if we didn't get sick we wont get a leave from work and the routine will go on and on till who knows when,...

Shouldn't we be grateful for it that we have some time to think over what had happened and what we are to plan ahead, is not as easy as we think it is, to think as we move,it may be a forceful breakthrough for some yet dreadful and bottomless Pit for others,..never would we even realize that it took us a few seconds or even minute to stop our actions and think for our next action in our daily life. and yet for our major and master plan we fail to see the need to stop for a while and revise our plan,..improvise it for the better,we think too much of something we get nowhere yet a move without thinking will get us lost,.have a balance in most of what we do, being healthy all the time prove that there is something wrong with us..either we are denying the facts that we are lost or maybe we think we are doing things at the best level possible,being overconfident...

Did we forget that sickness is a blessing in disguise? did we not remember that sickness is a test? a test will not befall on those who are not eligible for it,for God knows his servant more than we can know about us ourselves,...never did we took the time to rest from our daily list of things to do,so why not take the time when we are sick to review our past assignment that we've submitted to our own history,go back through it by the days or maybe month,years and see how did we do...what had we achieved, what had we devoted our life and effort,..wealth?career?fam

there are things that we wouldn't be able to see when we are healthy,not a few but a lot of things that we neglected due to being healthy,..yes it occur to us when we are sick yet it fades away as the sickness goes life is filled with much things that always swaying us from the path that we should be walking on...

Be grateful in whatever situation we are in, for there is always a good side of each and every chapter in our life,...

4 words : " Alhamdulillah, thank you ALLAH "

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


awaken by the coldness of the breeze
only to find myself within darkness
that i know nothing of it
nor do i feel comfort in it
cant relax to think nor can i react
seems that with eyes wide open
felt like its so tightly shut
blindness living without a light
loneliness only loneliness fill my heart
confusion dreads of consternation infesting
paralyzing, numbing never endlessly
I’m losing my mind
losing the hold of myself
even now losing conscious
of what is going on around me
it is fading inside of me
the will the believe the hope
to live on…
all is fading

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Different it made...

some live by feeding from the good they've done but some may think otherwise...we face people everyday and it is not always good nor is it bad every each and everyday in our life we face others and either we receive,do good things to them or either we receive,do bad things to them..we can never run away from it as long as we live in a community..

why does our heart feels heavily weaved when it comes to a certain person yet it did not to another?does it mean that we only do good things to certain someone and not to others?does we choose among our brothers and sisters to whom we should be good to?or should we treat all our brothers and sisters equally as we were taught by our beloved prophet (praise be upon him) ? let our heart remain pure to the intention of our doings, for that is what count the most...

when we choose to do deeds to someone for a reason that they did to us,our heart will sway...
and if it keeps on going then we will favor some before the others hence dividing and creating our own circle among our that what we learn in Islam?is that what a Muslim should do?

its easy to do good to someone that did nothing to u,but its not that easy to do good to someone who did something to u...yet we were taught not to do so,we should do good to others even when they do bad things to us, for that is the true meaning in doing good. No matter how bad we we're treated always do good to others

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The crazed and the tormented

ما الدهر إلا مجنوناً بأهله # وما صاحب الحاجة إلا معذباً

more or less it means : "what is time except lunacy to it's dweller, and what is need except torment to it's seeker"

never a moment pass in our life without it being engulf in time,yet never let it engulf our heart.our mind may be sway by the tide of time,flooding with thoughts of things to be achieved...but our heart must remain true to the purpose of our living in this ephemeral world. One who seeks what is consume by time will only find oneself drowning in torment and disappointment,for one's satisfaction can never be satisfied....may it be than just word in our daily life...

ps : to those who are able to correct me on the wrong translation of the saying is most welcome :D

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the beauty of oneself

used to hear this saying quite a lot of time, but seems to be forgetting it in times of thought of sharing it for may one day if i totally forgotten it someone else may remind me of it :)

"ما أحسن في وجه الفتى زينة له # إن لم تكن في فعله و خلائق"

more or less it means : "there is nothing better that beautifies for oneself # except those of his actions and manners"

remembering how many things we tried on to make us look better,the time we spent on,countless hours days months and years,how much of our wealth has we spent on looking better,it may change our look our beauty,yet those things does not change the way how people look at us,..for the things that beautifies us,make us look better is our actions,what we did to others. for our manners how we treat people,how we talk to others. respecting the elders and being merciful with the youngsters,those are the things that will change the way people look at us,either with love,respect and admiration or hate,anger and displease,..may it be more than just a word in our daily life.

ps : to those who are able to correct me on the wrong translation of the saying is most welcome :D


when we seek for cause that bring pain and shame,it is never to abide as admitting is insane,purely disastrous for all to gain,diminishing the hope that's being build,the worth is somewhat no one has seen,yet we try and fought again,knowing where the road will lead,to a desert that will never rain,nothing to gain and only pain,bliss and torment is what await,yet drawn to it without a shame,as if it is only a game,..

not a moment past as were to deem,a moment to look back to rethink,known only for others to see,that what remain is just its skin,groomed by fear yet it blooms,underneath those stunning beauty,are wretched and hideous play,a foul act that should have been on display,..

it is like a living bomb that we kept inside,not knowing till when it will reside,fearing that one day it will unfold,losing everything there is to hold,a charm and attraction it may,to be disappointed when it is dismay...

never did it came with a blessing,never has it been promising,it has always been misfortune,bitter and always despairing...

acknowledged yet its like the air we breath...cant run away nor can it be kept,..
detest,despise it for that it should...
speak of the truth no matter how painful it is...for lies is never of any use.

Friday, April 16, 2010


as i was sitting in my room view came upon an old book of mine,an interesting book that i have not read in a long time,a phrase that get me thinking for awhile :)

من شاف مصيبة غيره هانت عليه مصيبته

more or less it means : "He who sees the calamity of others find his bearable"

we use to frown and put ourself away from others, being depress about almost all the misfortunate things that happen to times thinking that why does it have to be this way,why does it happen to me..forgetting that misfortunate things happen to everyone some are more bearable than ours,some are more worst and unbearable compared to ours, yet we failed to see how "comparatively lucky" we are, whenever something misfortunate happen we should know that there are others that suffer more than what we are thankful be grateful we should, that we are test with much lighter and bearable misfortunate events...may it be more than just a word in our daily life.

ps : to those who are able to correct me on the wrong translation of the saying is most welcome :D

Friday, April 9, 2010

for us to ponder...

another beautiful poem :

ولدتك أمك يا ابن آدم باكيا"

والناس حولك يضحكون سرورا

فاعمل لنفسك ان تكون إذا بكوا

في يوم موتك ضاحكا مسرورا"

more or less it means : Son (descendant) of adam your mother begotten you and you are crying, The people around you are laughing joyfully, do deeds for yourself if they were to cry, on the day you die you'll be laughing happily.

also added to it by an unknown author that goes :

ولا دار للمرء بعد الموت يسكنها

الا الذي كان قبل الموت يبنيها

فان بناها بخير طاب مسكنه

وان بناها بشر خاب بانيها

" there is no house after death for one to reside in, except the house that he build before death, dwell in good house if it's built with good deeds, if evil deeds is what it is built with for sure it will disappoint the builder"

some says life is short and we should enjoy it...yet those are words for the one that has no believe in hereafter...spending all the moment they own on pleasure...yet for us life is like a test, a field of soil for us to farm on it,where we will be rewarded in hereafter...let us be the one to cry while tying rather than the one to cry when dying...we were born in tears yet are we to die in tears...may it be more than just word in our daily life...

ps : to those who are able to correct me on the wrong translation of the saying is most welcome :D

Friday, April 2, 2010

the unreturning time that passed

today i stumble upon an arabic saying that goes :

ألا ليت الشّباب يعود يوماً     فأخبره بما فعل المشيب

more or less it mean "if Teen Age' can return (to me) for one day #
So I can tell (complain to) him ('Teen Age') about what 'Old Age' has done (to me)"

the benefits that we can gain is to remind us that what ever the time we has now will never return to us if we forsaken it,waste it or fill it with unnecessary things,it will never come to us the same opportunity to correct it or to undo the things we did for time keep ticking away never stop never turning back...and so should we,think and plan ahead on what time left we has to spare for our future...yet not for the desire to achieve all the things we want rather the things we need to do,realizing that what we want may change from time to time yet what we need remains as it is...may it be more than just word in our daily life...


anger anger anger... do we ever wonder why do we get angry?is it because we didn't like what we see what we receive?or is it because what people did wrong?displease us?or just because we think its right to get angry at a time?

if we are to define anger it is a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath.
but by what should we define wrong?by our own prejudice?are we even good enough to say that is a wrong?by civil law?or should we get angry on the wrong doings of people against the law that GOD has drawn for us?or just purely by our dislike and displeasure?

anger is usually seen by community as an irrational emotion mostly rarely an appropriate yet why does it exist?is it to test our patience so that we may learn to see even thing and actions that we may dislike may have been the right thing?

we may always see what others did and done but how about what we did and done?
how do we accept the things we do are wrong in the view of other and arouse their anger?do we took a stance?or do we usually correct it to what may seems right in the eyes of others?

getting angry does at time make us feel better but does it change the outcome of the action?or does we need to get angry just so we may feel better even if the outcome doesn't?

be known for when anger is in motion mind will sway from fact,judgment will be clouded,irrational actions taken only to be regretted a moment after.

we may never know at time the worst things for us are what we like and at time the best for us are what we dislike,for the one that knows what best for us is ALLAH...

Sunday, March 28, 2010

a slice of cake that everyone has eaten...

it is often that we talk about others and what they did...funny how it seems to make us feel good about it but rather angry and furious if it is about us and what we did were the topic of the day...we try hard in being a good person doing good deeds from sunrise till sunset yet why do we burn it all away for a moment of laughter and pleasure in the night...thought of bringing awareness to others as if it is a blessful act...thoughtful yet forgetful we in to the whispers and calling of the devils...

why do we give in to the act that make us laugh leaving others crying?
why do we give in to the thought that make us think we are better?
why do we give in to the encouragement to look down on others?

do we forget that everyone makes mistakes?
do we forget that no one is perfect?
do we forget that forgiveness exist?

had we not know that those are hideous,horrid and loathsome acts...
had we not know that it is a major sin to reveal and divulge about others...
had we not know that it is painful and tormenting when it is ours that was revealed...

remembering what we did before that was forgiven by others is it not worth to forgive what others did?
remembering what we did that others did not talk about,does it not stop us from telling tales of others?
remembering all the sins we committed that God has close upon the eyes of others had it not open our eyes?

we humans are prone to mistakes and we humans are vulnerable to influence that may change us...
if we do not take the step to go forward the influence of others will take us backward...
stood up and decide...will we be the one who has felt the pain and torment,known the blessing and mercy yet give in to the whispers and callings of the devil? will we be among those who has acquired knowledge yet live life in ignorance...

"it is fond of humans heart to desire dark and disgraceful act yet we were blessed with mind to avoid disastrous deeds that will bring suffering"